I’ve said it time and again…. half marathon training is not for the faint at heart. This week proved that yet again. I usually run on Saturdays, but this Saturday I just didn’t have it in me. I was tired. DEAD. DOG. TIRED. Well, as the sun started to set, I realized it was too late. My exhaustion turned to anger. Grrrr I blew it. Now what?!
I woke up early Sunday ready to get at it…. kind of. There was an overcast, but that was better than rain. I decided to drive over to Sullivan’s Island and set out on my intended course….. run from Sully’s to Isle of Palms. Sounds beautiful doesn’t it. Well, my poetic plan was riddled with hurdles…. my bladder being one of them. It was in overdrive. I had to stop several times from one side of town to the other.
Yep, that’s me in my 2nd Wendy’s bathroom! What I didn’t know when I took the picture was that this would be the best part of my run! *sigh*
I drove the rest of the way to Sullivan’s island, found a great parking spot and said my silent prayer. “Please God, be with me in this run. Please don’t let me die. Amen” As I tune into my first song I realize I left my sunglasses in the car. Ugh. The show must go on. I start to run. “Alright, I like this song”….. A couple songs later, “My Nike app must be broken because hasn’t it been a mile by now?” Shortly after my inquiry I get the one mile shout out. “Yes! Just ten more to go! I sooooo got this” Then in some sick and twisted turn of events I become clairvoyant. I can literally see myself falling, but I couldn’t do anything about it. It was that slowwwww motion cartoon kind of fall. “This can’t be happening. I’m really about to be all up in this sidewalk.” and just like that….. I was all up in that sidewalk. I then did what anyone else would have done. I quickly got up and looked around! lol. Did anybody just see me bite the dust?! It looked like no, but we’ll see if me and my fall go viral. Once I convince myself I publicly fell privately, I do a once over to access the damage.
I immediately started to cry. My tears were not from physical pain, but I was upset I couldn’t finish my run. Oh, I thought about it, but knew it would be a temporary gain because my knee really did hurt. As much as I joke that I hate running, I hate not keeping my word (even if it’s just to myself) more! I quickly dried my tears with the thought that I’m already hurt, no need to look crazy too! While the tears were gone, my inner words of disappointment weren’t. It was in the midst of me verbally knocking myself back down that a gospel song came on. (Yes, I have gospel music in my running playlist. Judge me if you want, but know God’s watching). “The Best of Me”. “God is that you?!” It was at this moment that I realized I didn’t have to throw the whole run in the trash. I’m literally moments from the beach, at least go enjoy some peace. So I walked onto the beach and took it all in.
What a visual of my journey. I can’t see too far beyond me, but I know where I am is beautiful. I didn’t finish my run according to plan. I fell. I fell hard. A fall that bruised both my physical and my mental, but what my stroll on the beach showed me is that even hurt I got up. I kept it moving. I am more than my occasional failures. I’m not done. As I sit here typing this with ice on my knee and an open wound on my hand, I am not done! I’m planning my next run both for my training and to Target for bandaids and peroxide. I’m still not a runner, but I WILL keep running!