My name is Angell and I’m 37 and single. *readers chant back* Hi Angell. While that introduction sounds like one at the beginning of some intervention meeting, this is no intervention. It has taken me years to realize, there’s nothing wrong with being single. It isn’t a condition I need to be “cured” or “saved” from. It isn’t a bad habit. It is simply my relationship status.
Growing up southern hasn’t made my “condition” any easier. There were times it made it downright hard. I’m talking cry myself to sleep difficult. The holidays only exacerbate my southern feelings of inadequacy. There’s nothing like a family get together surrounded by babies, toddlers, and super adults (You know, those older adults that have been adulting since you were in diapers! Lol) to make you consider becoming a recluse that hoards cats. It’s only a matter of time before the interrogation begins….. “Angell, are you dating anyone?” “You gonna have some babies soon?” “What happened to _____ insert an ex-boyfriend’s name?” You get the idea.
Then there’s the actual dating process. Anyone have a stiff drink? Dating has been downright painful. I have dated for upwards to two DECADES now. (Yeah, marinate on that one. *sigh*). I’ve had some great guys, lots of not so great guys, and a few more of “what was I thinking” guys. Either way, that’s not been easy either. The older I get the more difficult it becomes. My sanity is often questioned because according to some “single girl manual” I have yet to see, but that is freely passed around the male species, because I’m attractive but don’t have kids or an ex-husband I HAVE to be clinically insane. Sorry to disappoint. I’m currently not on meds or awaiting a psychiatrist’s diagnosis. Then there’s the guys that get spooked because apparently my biological clock has begun to tick like a bomb from McGuyver! “Angell, you’re ready for a family and I’m just not ready” Uhm, thanks? Listen gentleman. Let me make this very clear. Yes, I’d love to have a family. What that family will look like, I haven’t a clue. I’m 37 and that sweet little vision of my life as an adult that I dreamt up in my 20’s has long been thrown out the window! I won’t bother you with the conversations I’ve had with God and the tears I’ve cried coming to grips that the little me I’ve always dreamed of may not come to be and there’s nothing I can do about it. Again, not first date banter so don’t worry your handsome little brain about it.
I write all this to say if you have a single daughter, sister, friend be kind with your words. She is a complete person with or without a man. Every day she is reminded regardless of ALL the accomplishments she has made on her own that she isn’t complete because her last name hasn’t changed. Gentlemen, if you find yourself dating one of these single ladies be prepared to step your game up. She has lived life and survived without a man for many years. Please don’t get these women confused with the “I don’t need a man” types. She’s not bitter. She desires the companionship of a man, but the RIGHT man. Don’t waste her time. Be good to her. She could make your life a dream. (You DO know that’s what good women do right?!)
To all my single ladies……
Stay strong single girl. Stay strong!